REMEMBER THAT IF AN EVENT LOOKS STRESSFUL OR CRITICAL, THIS DEPENDS ON HOW YOU JUDGE IT. EVERYTHING IS RELATIVE.
If you believe you cannot rely on personal and/or external resources, your evaluation will be negative: you will think you will have no chance to succeed and you will thus decide to give up.
The first steps to develop resilience are:
- get in touch with your inner thoughts in relation to the critical event – being that a competition, a training session or a life event - (i.e.: I cannot do it, I’ll never make it, the other one is stronger..)
- get in touch with your emotional reactions (i.e.: I'm afraid, I’m scared...)
- get in touch with the physiological reactions of your body (i.e.: my heart is beating fast, my legs are shaking, I can feel a stab in the stomach, I’m chocking ..)
- get in touch with your behavioral reactions (for example: I wanna run away, I’m giving up, I’ll quit...).
Once you become aware of your thoughts and emotions that preceed the stressful event, the second important step is to gain CONTROL and MODIFY them, looking for the most functional point of view. How?
First of all, when you are too stressed, fears arise, or you think you can't do it, it’s necessary to get back to the basics of living: breath.
Breathe deeply, feel your heartbeat slowing down, feel your mind becoming light and free ..
You will realize then that you are focusing only on the critical event, on what’s going outside instead of what’s going on inside, on your resources; that you are focusing only on the predominant negative aspect, because it is painful and unwanted.
Try to consider the critical event as a CHALLENGE; allow you to feel its destabilizing power, but place it in a wider context, which includes also your personal skills and yur inner and outer resources.
Move your focus inside, by considering yourself able to act to improve your situation.
What happens to you depends on your personal contribution, on the quantity and quality of your practice, on your motivation, on your willpower, which ranges tolerance to frustration. Even when facing events out of your control, always rely on your personal contribution, your ability to react to that same event.
There’s always something you can do to improve, because we are evolving and learning all the time.